All this family and political talk has made me itchy. Let’s get it on:
Earlier this month in Grand Rapids, Michigan, an alleged shoplifter was hospitalized with non-life-threatening puncture wounds to his abdomen. Department store security guards confronted the 26-year-old man, who tried to run away; in the ensuing struggle he fell on the $300 worth of hunting knives that were tucked into his waistband.*
Poor guy must not have had a mother to tell him that he shouldn’t run with sharp objects.
*Chuck Shepherd, “News of the Weird”, Chicago Reader, January 31, 2008.